Excerpts from a transcript of a 2009 episode of Cheaters
Joel “Doggie” Hines, age 33, a musician afraid that his girlfriend may be doing double-time with another man.
I met Jackie at a show my band was doing over at CBGBs and we just, sort of, hit it off right from the beginning.
You know, she’s really smart and pretty funny and we just, sort of, it’s one of those things, you know.
Next thing we knew we were spending a lot of time together and just, sort of, took off.
My last two girlfriends had cheated on me, and I don’t know if it’s just a feeling, know if it’s just a feeling, you know.
I, sort of, didn’t even realize that they were, you know.
It was, like, one of those things I was, sort of, blind to it, and so I think I’m just very suspicious of all girls in general.
It’s always in the back of your mind, you know, like, no matter how much someone tells you they love you or, like, whatever, it’s just in the back of your mind, you know.
That’s what the last person said, too, and it’s, like, it’s hard to describe the feeling but it’s — I think it is effecting me, like, look at this whole thing now, you know.
If I had never been, you know, cheated on before I probably wouldn’t have these suspicions, you know.
That’s why I think this will at least get it out of my system one way or the other hopefully.
If I really find out she’s really cheating on me, I think it’s going to be pretty — it’s going to be a drag.
I mean it’s hard to say because it’s almost like I’m used to it now and I almost expect it, so I, sort of, feel like I’m half prepared for it but, you know, I mean dreading it obviously but I can’t imagine, you know, being able to trust another girl, so that’s kind of horrible to try to think you’re not going be able to trust someone, you know.
Three strikes you’re out, I mean, you know.
It’s not like I’m going to go with the other team or anything but I think it would be a while before I was calling anyone on the phone.
Hard to say.
Do you recognize that guy?
Yeah, that’s my guitar player, Eric.
Yeah, I don’t appreciate that [bleeped] too much.
Does she kiss all your band members?
Not that I know of.
We continued the investigation and we identified that as your rehearsal studio.
I mean he has this [bleeped] rep, you know, among musicians, but I didn’t think it was for this.
I thought it was for guitar playing.
On this day of the investigation she meets him again — dinner.
On my street, thank you.
So we’ve got a pattern established.
What a [bleeped] of [bleeped] — at least I know.
At least I know.
All the same, you know, my feelings were pretty correct.
On this day of the investigation Jackie arrives at a local bar.
Cheers, yeah good.
This is your girlfriend, your band member.
That’s my [bleeped] neighborhood.
Now, I know this is not what you want to see.
We were able to get some of the videos from the surveillance camera of your building.
That’s a pattern, all right — male [bleeped] pattern baldness, too.
Following the confrontation, “Doggie” Hines recorded feeling a variety of emotions.
He says he’s quite angry with his girlfriend and will not tolerate a cheating partner, asserting that he knows many women who would love to be with him.
Doggie says that being in the band exposes him to all kinds of willing females and that he intends to take full advantage of his status now that he is a free man.
He’s also very disappointed with his guitarist, Epic, and will soon be hold auditions for a replacement.
Doggie made it clear that he intends to make it as a rock star and that Epic will regret sleeping with his girlfriend.